Lost in Roblox’s Fifa World – everything wrong with the metaverse in one place

Almost every December all around the UK, temporary winter wonderland theme parks crop up, usually in out-of-town car parks or disused industrial sites. They promise hours of seasonal fun with Santa’s grottos and magic sleigh rides – but what disappointed families often get is Santa’s static caravan covered in tinsel and two emaciated donkeys dressed in plastic antlers dragging a wheelbarrow. Imagine that, but online and with a bit more cash behind it, and you have Fifa World.

Announced via a typically histrionic press release, Fifa World is a “virtual environment that celebrates the power of football and the rich history of its pinnacle events”. Built into the hugely successful online multiplayer game Roblox, which allows its 55 mi…